Book Titles

It’s often unclear whether feedback is a suggestion or a command. …You may or may not choose to comply, but you’ll certainly want to know which category the feedback falls into.

…regardless of how the other person starts, you can use your turn to frame the conversation constructively and to offer an agenda.

…regardless of how the other person starts, you can use your turn to frame the conversation constructively and to offer an agenda.

All the listening in the world can’t make up for failing to assert the one issue that matters to you…

…when we’re listening to ourselves, we can’t also listen to others.

When you’re triggered, your internal voice goes from mere assistant to armed bodyguard.

We are wired for empathy, but only toward those who we believe are behaving well.

Listening rewards the giver’s effort in taking the time to give you feedback, and it leaves them feeling reassured that they have been clear.

What to do, then, when you are experiencing strong feelings? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t try to fight through it and inquire. Instead, assert.

Finding possibilities requires two things: attentive listening for the interests behind the feedback, and the ability to generate options that address those interests.