Book Titles

It’s not just big, important feedback that can knock us sideways. The everyday stuff can trip identity as well…

Because identity stories are influenced by how we are doing relative to those around us, our peers become the yardsticks we use to gauge how we measure up.

While some of us do it naturally, we can all learn to hold our identity in ways that make us more resilient.

…when we get feedback that we are not all, we hear it as feedback that we are nothing.

So, while simple labels help orient us in the world, they don’t hold up well against the complexity of the world.

No one is perfect…, it’s better not to believe you are – …because it makes it harder for you learn from feedback.

You shouldn’t stop striving to improve, but accepting what ‘is’ can be an enormous relief.

…you can’t outrun [feedback], and you will collapse trying. Accepting imperfection is not just a good idea, it’s the only choice.

People do get better when they apply themselves, and people apply themselves when they believe they can get better.

Growth identity folks aren’t thrown by the contradiction and are motivated to seek accurate information in order to adjust and learn.