Book Titles

Although such vigilance is no longer as critical to our survival as it was thousands of years ago, we’re still highly attuned to perceive threats to our everyday well-being.

…become aware of the feelings that arise when you’re triggered, before you act on them.

Compulsions are not choices, and they rarely lead to a positive outcome.

In the overwhelming majority of cases, the origin of the trigger can be traced to a feeling of having been devalued or diminished by someone else’s words or behavior.

Our core emotional need is to feel secure – to be valued – and challenges to our self-worth do just the opposite. They make us feel devalued and insecure…

Much as we aspire to feel good about ourselves regardless of what others may say, our sense of self-worth is profoundly influenced by the degree to which others value us.

Above all other stresses, it’s the feeling of being personally criticized that appears to take the greatest toll on our bodies, and on our ability to think clearly.

The more we feel our value is at risk, the more energy we spend defending it and the less energy we have available to create value.

To really take in and process critical feedback, it must be delivered by someone who makes us feel safe and who we believe truly has our best interests at heart.

…feeling valued and secure is a basic form of stress inoculation.