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Intersections – differences in preferences, tendencies, and traits that cause us to bump into each other – account for a significant proportion of the friction and feedback in both personal and professional relationships.
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128 |
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It’s impossible to overstate the extent to which role confusion exists, even in the most well-run organizations.
|
130 |
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There are a number of advantages to understanding feedback through a systems lens… Systems thinking corrects for the skew of any single perspective.
|
136 |
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…at other times a disturbing consistency surfaces – no matter who you are in a relationship with, they have the same feedback for you.
|
143 |
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Understanding your own wiring and tendencies helps you to improve your ability to weather the storm of negative feedback…
|
148 |
 |
We tend to move toward things that are pleasurable and away from things that are painful. Pleasure is a rough proxy for the healthy and safe; pain is a rough proxy for the unhealthy and dangerous.
|
149 |
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Just as we can retrigger negative feelings by recalling negative feedback, we can extend our positive sustain by recalling positive feedback…
|
156 |
 |
If we’re going to get better at handling tough feedback, we have to understand how emotions interact with, and distort, the stories we tell about what the feedback means.
|
159 |
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Feelings skew our sense of the past, present, and future. They distort our stories about who we are, how others see us, and what the consequences of feedback will be.
|
161 |
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Fueled by emotion, our story about what the feedback says about us grows so large and damning that we are overwhelmed by it. Learning is the least of our worries; we’re just trying to survive.
|
165 |
