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Ask yourself, Where have I heard this before? Is this the first time you’ve gotten such feedback, or have you heard similar things from other people… Patterns offer useful clues about blind spots.
|
92 |
 |
…watching ourselves on video or hearing ourselves on audio… can be enormously illuminating, enabling us to hear our own tone and see our own behavior in ways that are normally invisible to us.
|
94 |
 |
Invite others to be an honest mirror to help you see yourself in the moment. Ask: How am I getting in my own way?
|
97 |
 |
We are often more triggered by the person giving us feedback than by the feedback itself.
|
100 |
 |
Feedback is often prompted by differences, incompatibilities, or friction between you and the giver.
|
100 |
 |
…treat trust and content as separate topics, because they are separate topics. Explore what might make sense about the feedback itself.
|
109 |
 |
…there are three key relationship interests that commonly get snagged on the brambles of feedback: our need for appreciation, autonomy, and acceptance.
|
111 |
 |
While we all need to feel accepted as we are, we also need to hear feedback – particularly when our behavior is affecting others.
|
114 |
 |
In fact, sometimes even the giver doesn’t realize that their coaching comes primarily from their own anxiety or frustration.
|
119 |
 |
When something goes wrong, we need to be able to talk about it so that we can figure it out and fix it.
|
123 |
