Book Titles

Ask yourself, Where have I heard this before? Is this the first time you’ve gotten such feedback, or have you heard similar things from other people… Patterns offer useful clues about blind spots.

A supportive mirror shows us our best self, well rested and under flattering light. We go to a supportive mirror for reassurance.

…watching ourselves on video or hearing ourselves on audio… can be enormously illuminating, enabling us to hear our own tone and see our own behavior in ways that are normally invisible to us.

…acknowledge the pattern that everyone already sees, and be clear that you’re trying hard to change.

Invite others to be an honest mirror to help you see yourself in the moment. Ask: How am I getting in my own way?

We are often more triggered by the person giving us feedback than by the feedback itself.

Feedback is often prompted by differences, incompatibilities, or friction between you and the giver.

Their experience is a factor in weighing the feedback’s usefulness, but don’t use it to automatically reject their counsel.

Intentions are rarely explicitly stated, and even when they are, we may or may not believe them.

…treat trust and content as separate topics, because they are separate topics. Explore what might make sense about the feedback itself.