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What [begins] as a precommitment [turns] into something permanent and more valuable: a habit.

Once you’re committed to following a bright-line rule, your present self can feel confident that your future self will observe it, too.

..there are three basic forms of punishment: severity, speed, and consistency… the most important facet of punishment – and the most difficult one for parents – is consistency.

…the basic steps of self-control: setting clear and attainable goals, giving instantaneous feedback, and offering enough encouragement for people to keep practicing and improving.

Thinness has become a status symbol because it’s so difficult for ordinary people to achieve unless they’re genetically lucky.

Precommitment helps you avoid the hot-cold empathy gap… the common failure to appreciate, in moments of cool deliberation, how you’ll feel in the heat of later moments.

…monitoring lets you improve your long-term planning. If you keep records, you can periodically check how far you’ve come so that you can set more realistic goals in the future.

Labeling is a way of validating someone’s emotion by acknowledging it.

…when you phrase a label as a neutral statement of understanding, it encourages your counterpart to be responsive.

Research shows that the best way to deal with negativity is to observe it, without reaction and without judgment.