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Tone of voice also conveys a surprising amount of information about our feelings. Others get meaning not just from what we say but how we say it.
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83 |
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Often when we feel hurt, frustrated, ignored, offended, or anxious, we try to keep feelings out of the picture.
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118 |
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If we’re going to get better at handling tough feedback, we have to understand how emotions interact with, and distort, the stories we tell about what the feedback means.
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159 |
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If our stories are a result of our feelings plus our thoughts, then we can change our stories by working to change either our feelings or our thoughts.
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161 |
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Feelings skew our sense of the past, present, and future. They distort our stories about who we are, how others see us, and what the consequences of feedback will be.
|
161 |
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Feelings affect not only how we recall the past, but how we imagine the future. When we feel bad, we assume we will always feel bad.
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163 |
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Fueled by emotion, our story about what the feedback says about us grows so large and damning that we are overwhelmed by it. Learning is the least of our worries; we’re just trying to survive.
|
165 |
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…figure out how you tend to respond… – so that you can recognize your usual reaction and name it to yourself in the moment. If you name it, you have some power over it.
|
167 |
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So, are you overreacting to the current feedback? Yes and no. Yes, your emotional reaction is out of proportion, and when you calm down you will be able to see that.
|
171 |
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Anything that helps you see a dark situation from a different point of view is beneficial.
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176 |
