Book Titles

All feedback is colored by the relationship between the giver and the receiver…

Receiving feedback well is a process of sorting and filtering – of learning how the other person sees things; of trying on ideas that at first seem a poor fit; of experimenting.

Broadly, feedback comes in three forms: appreciation (thanks), coaching (here’s a better way to do it), and evaluation (here’s where you stand).

…feedback in relationships is rarely the story of you or me. It’s more often the story of you and me. It’s the story of our relationship system.

…it is possible to learn to keep feedback in perspective, even when doing so doesn’t come naturally.

Being seen, feeling understood by others, matters deeply.

Appreciation motivates us – it gives us a bounce in our step and the energy to redouble our efforts.

Evaluations align expectations, clarify consequences, and inform decision making… Part of what can be hard about evaluation is concern about possible consequences – real or imagined.

…the absence of appreciation can leave a gaping hole in any relationship – personal or professional.

All too often, feedback that is offered as coaching is heard as evaluation.