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Listening well is more than a matter of talking less. It’s a set of skills in asking and responding. It starts with showing more interest in other people’s interests rather than trying to judge their status or prove our own.
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156 |
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Many communicators try to make themselves look smart. Great listeners are more interested in making their audiences feel smart.
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158 |
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…psychologists find that one of the hallmarks of an open mind is responding to confusion with curiosity and interest.
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199 |
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…emotions in a negotiation are driven by a core set of five interests: autonomy, appreciation, affiliation, role, and status.
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32 |
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…[the] difference between positions and interests is crucial.
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42 |
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Interests motivate people; they are the silent movers behind the hubbub of positions. Your position is something you have decided upon. Your interests are what caused you to so decide.
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43 |
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When you… look behind opposed positions for the motivating interests, you can often find an alternative position that meets not only your interests but theirs as well.
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44 |
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In many negotiations… a close examination of the underlying interests will reveal the existence of many more interests that are shared or compatible than the ones that are opposed.
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44 |
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A common error in diagnosing a negotiating situation is to assume that each person on the other side has the same interests. This is almost never the case.
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49 |
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The most powerful interests are basic human needs. In searching for the basic interests behind a declared position, look particularly for those bedrock concerns that motivate all people…
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50 |
